Whether you’re taking your maiden voyage into the waters of parenting or you are a seasoned professional at the task, there is no "one-size-fits-all."
From Helicopters to Free-Rangers: What Kind of Parent Are You?
The very mention of the word parenting immediately takes your mind to the diaper and bedtime battles, or those school plays in which your child has forgotten two lines-but you're still the loudest cheerleader.
Whether you’re taking your maiden voyage into the waters of parenting or you are a seasoned professional at the task, there is no "one-size-fits-all." Every family does things their own unique way, and it is just so beautifully different.
Wondering what kind of parent you are? Keep reading to find out why you and your parent friends never agree on what's best for your children.
Helicopter Parents: Watching Over All
Ever catch yourself scheduling play-dates, trying to oversee a homework assignment, or even envisioning the day your child interviews for Harvard-at only age six? You might just be a helicopter parent!
As a helicopter parent, it means you are always hovering- you are always keeping a close watch over your child's every move to make sure he or she is safe, productive, and prepared for anything that life may throw their way.
You choreograph everything: from color-coded chore charts to triple-checking each and every lunch box to see whether it was perfectly balanced with nutrition and fun.
You have activity-packed schedules of karate on Mondays, violin lessons on Tuesdays-with an extra dash of math tutoring squeezed in between.
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Real Life Scenarios:Try to imagine yourself parked front-row at your child’s job interview at 21 and ready to answer whatever of those "hard" questions the employer may toss out. How about that mother calling her child's college professor to complain about that "B" on their midterm? This is exactly what helicopter parenting means!!!
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Pros: According to the world of helicopter parents, maximum safety and provision for their children has to be present. They try to make sure that their children lack nothing. All the minute details are well written down and articulated leaving no stone unturned.
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Cons: All that fawning tends to churn out kids with difficulties in being independent and handling problem situations. After all, pretty much everything is done for them-right from shoelaces up to making big decisions.
Free-Range Parents: Let Them Spread Their Wings
Free-range parents are the utter opposite of helicopter parents. They are the laid-back, easygoing, and free-range kind. You are most likely to find their children running wild and free in their world, learning through actions-even if that may be with a few scraped knees.
Free-range parenting has to do with kids having more independence. It encourages kids to take risks, go outdoors, and make their own decisions. More generally said, a parent of this type believes that kids should work out their relationship with the world on their own.
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Real-Life Scenarios: If ever you saw a parent just sitting serenely on the bench while his or her kid tries scaling the tallest tree in the park, then you saw a free-range parent in action.
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Pros: Free-range parents are very often the parents of independent, creative, and resilient kids. They are kids who have been given space to make mistakes, learn from those mistakes, and grow.
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Cons: This "let them figure it out" approach is not without its risks. Accidents do indeed happen and such parents are mostly judged by passersby because of being so non-protective.
Authoritarian Parents: The "My Way or the Highway" Approach
Parents who are authoritarian represent the drill sergeant of the world of parenting. An authoritarian style of parent demands absolute obedience and conformity to high expectations along with a strict set of rules allowing little room for open negotiation in discourse.
Parents who are authoritarian run a tight ship. Firm, discipline-oriented, expecting children to follow the rules-period. Structure, discipline, and order are the blueprint of this parenting style.
Parents define the rules clearly then enforce them rigidly, requiring absolute obedience from their children.
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Real Life Scenario: These are parents for whom morning routines are no less than the calculated launch of a NASA space shuttle: breakfast sharp at 7.00 AM, shoes on at 7.05 AM, and out the door bang at 7.10 AM-no exception! And God help the kid who argues it.
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Pros: Children of authoritarian parents respect rules, are extremely well-disciplined, know what is expected of their behavior, and seldom act outside those boundaries.
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Cons: The rigidity inside the parenting style can make the children extremely afraid of making mistakes or making minor decisions for their own selves.
Indulgent Parents: Friends First, Parents Second
Have you ever let your child have cake for breakfast just so they won't fuss? Congratulations-you could be an indulgent parent! The Indulgent parent desperately tries to be the best friend of their child. They are warm, loving and lenient regarding rules and discipline.
Common in all these predisposing factors are: The touchy-feely parents fear not being able to touch their children and, more often than not, they give permission to the child to make choices-even if it means not doing homework or sleeping late.
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Real-Life Scenarios: Think of the parent who shrugs as their kid decides to skip finishing their chores in order to go watch TV. Or how about the parent who-after a long day-lets their kid eat ice cream for dinner-just this once.
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Pros: With indulgent parents, the kids have a warm and open relationship with them. The homes score high on creativity and emotional expressiveness.
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Cons: Sometimes too much leniency invites problems in respect of authority and discipline.
Authoritative Parents: The Balanced LeadersThis parent finds that magic middle between firm and lenient. He or she sets clear direction yet somehow does this with warmth, love, and flexibility.
The authoritative parents are balanced in their method of discipline with nourishment. Parents expect much while encouraging independence and open communication.
These parents counterbalance control with a heavy helping of warmth. They will set limits but also discuss and even solicit their child's input about why those limits are necessary or fair.
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Real Life Examples: Classic authoritative moves include negotiating curfews or screen time limits and giving your child a voice in the situation.
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Pros: Kids raised in authoritative households are free thinking, emotionally intelligent and know how to communicate.
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Cons: It's exhausting. It's not easy being both the good guy and the tough guy!
Attachment Parenting: The Nurturers
Attachment parents are all about attachment: Physical and emotional closeness. They're the ones carrying their babies in slings and sleeping with them, responding to every whimper with gentle attention.
The attachment parent emphasizes attached relationships through physical closeness and attentive response. Cosleeping, baby-wearing, and extended nursing beyond two years is common for this parenting style.
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Real-life situations: just think about those parents that wouldn't dare leave the house without having the child strapped to their body in some sort of carrier or awakening with every whimper of the toddler.
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Pros: Children feel secure and emotionally attached-usually resilient and emotionally intelligent.
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Cons: It is very exhaustive for the parents, while for the child it may be quite hard to gain independence.
Tiger Parents: The High Achiever Champions
Do you believe in pushing your child to excel at all costs? Then you may be a tiger parent! Tiger parents place high demands on their children for achievement in both academic and extracurricular activities with little room for compromise
They put emphasis on their children in relation to attainment, discipline, and efforts. The lives of kids in this matter are jammed with sports classes and private tutors.
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Real-life situations: Consider a parent who is busy on weekends driving the kid around to piano lessons or to math tutors, counting each report card to the decimal.
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Pros: Through tiger parenting, the child will be immensely successful and more disciplined. They face life’s challenges better.
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Cons:The drive for success gives way to pressure, tension, anxiety, or burnout.
Snowplow Parents: Clearing a Path to Success
If you're one of those parents that clear the pathway of obstacles before they become a problem in the first place-before your child can even realize such problems exist-you're a snowplow parent.
Parents who smoothen the way for their child so the journey of life will have no hitches and difficulties are called snowplow parents.
Most parents who try to solve problems well before they happen to their child are in this category, be it discussing issues with teachers, sorting out a conflict, or ironing out bumps in life. Snowplow parents take away setbacks so that children will not have to.
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Real-Life Scenarios: Just think about that overbearing parent who's always resolving petty friction with the child’s friends or calling up the coach to make sure their kid gets more playing time on the field!
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Pros: Kids whose parents are snow plows have their way smoothed through school and social situations as moms and dads take much of the sting out of the most common stressors and problem-solving.
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Cons: Obstacles in a child's path stand in the way of resilience, problem-solving capability, and independence to be developed. In other words, when things get tough, they are likely to be poorly equipped.
The Lawnmower Parent: Smoother of Every Bump
Lawnmower parents cut down every potential bump in the road long before their child approaches, rather than take out obstacles.
Lawncutter parent-a parent who smoothes out the path of life's obstacles that a child may have to go through by making one's path so easy that all friction, discomfort, or even failure may be dodged.
They all do one thing most in their capacity: seeing the kids are never frustrated, and when there is a problem, actually jump in so that their child doesn't get the opportunity to work it out themselves.
Lawn-mower parents try to pave every path-smoothing social struggles, calling ahead to negotiate with teachers and coaches.
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Real-life situations: Parents doing homework projects for their kids or emailing teachers at the last minute regarding homework assignments.
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Pros: At Least the child may not have had disappointments and failures. It may give an impression that they had a tension-free childhood.
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Cons: It deprives the children from the precious life experiences that shape a child in learning how to overcome failures and creating resilience, learning how to handle one's problems.
Conclusion
Parenting has got nothing to do with fitting in; it's all about seeking what works best for you and your child. Every parent is different and so are the kids, after all, nobody is perfect. Love, understanding, and flexibility remain the major ingredients.
Be it the helicopter above, or set him free to find his way, or grind it like a tiger leading the cheer, embrace your style with a little more confidence.