Surviving the Holidays with Your In-Laws: A Newlywed's' Guide to Sanity

Cheerful lights shine bright as the long awaited December holiday memories begin to unfold. You have at least seen this in movies if you haven't experienced it.

Realistically, the holidays are not as exciting as we expect them to be. Each holiday comes with its own special brand of challenges especially when the in-laws enter into the picture. Family dynamics, tradition, and expectations really work over anyone who has the patience for it. 

Fear not! This article is going to give you useful tips on how to make it through the holidays with your in-laws, and you can make it through anything. 

Why Holidays Can Be Tricky with In-Laws

The holidays are a time for family but they can also mean the beginning of a new kind of headache for newly weds. For most people, there are stress factors in a holiday especially when you have to deal with annoying aunties and uncles. 

Now throw in your in-laws into that mix, and voilà-you have an instant recipe for holiday chaos. In-laws are quite like a wild card-you're not quite sure what you're going to get, but it's gonna be interesting, for sure.

Maybe they have different traditions, different ideas about what the holidays are supposed to look and feel like, or at least opinions on how you run your life. 

And that is all right because you are not alone. If there is one thing everyone can agree upon, it is that the holiday season with in-laws is universally tricky.

• Humor Alert: If you can make it through the holidays with your in-laws intact, you need a medal-and one that chocolate would be really great, thanks.

Family Dynamics: Why In-Laws Can Be So In-Law-ish

Why do the in-laws have that kind of magic, uncanny ability to stir the holiday pot? Well, it goes toward the understanding of family dynamics. 

Of course, this can be exacerbated by cultural or generational differences. Where the older generation might be all into caroling, you just want to secretly binge-watch cheesy holiday movies. And then, of course, there is the potential for awkwardness.

• Relatable Scenario: You thought you were so helpful by offering to bring a salad, but in reality, they judged you for not deep-frying the turkey like "everyone else.

Setting Early Limits Without Being the Grinch

Boundaries in this case are the invisible line between festive fun and losing your mind. Allowing oneself to survive the holidays with in-laws is all about setting those boundaries early and sweetly. 

It’s all about choosing how much time you really want to devote, what activities you really want to do.

Have a conversation with your partner about your holiday boundaries long, long before any holiday. The sooner the expectations get set, the less time you'll spend in the bathroom meditating.

Communication Is Key: How to Stay Sane as a Couple

Communication is the secret sauce to any healthy relationship, but most especially during the holidays. It's helpful to go in with some sort of game plan laid out with your partner for what's to come.

Decide on ways to navigate those sticky situations. For example:

• What happens when Uncle Bob starts ranting about politics? 

• What do you say when someone asks, "So when are you having kids?

Devise some sort of secret code word when it all gets a bit too much. For example, you say "pineapple," that's your code word to get out of there. If you say "banana," that is your code word for backup in the conversation.

Mastering the Art of Diplomacy: Graciously Handling Family Traditions

How do you diplomatically balance the very conflicting family traditions? Perhaps his family needs to sing that really repetitive carol "The 12 Days of Christmas," and your family's idea of fun is to have a quiet dinner followed by a board game. 

How would you compromise? It's okay to say "no" or provide options. After all, it does not have to be a perfect holiday-it's about memories-even if those memories will be clad in matching reindeer sweaters with a little awkwardness.

Gift Giving Minefield: How to Avoid Gifting Disasters

Gift giving is one of the high-wire acts during holidays in which one misstep earns you the stink-eye for the rest of eternity. Neutrality should be the rule of thumb here. Gift nothing that would offend anyone. 

Some little gifts that would be highly misunderstood would be kissing your mother-in-law goodbye with a diet cookbook or hailing your father-in-law with a "World's Okayest Dad" mug.

When in doubt, fall back on universal crowd-pleasers: candles, scarves, gourmet chocolates. When in doubt, give gift cards as they are impersonal in the best possible way.

• Bonus: Avoid funny gifts. You yourself may find a cuckoo clock riotously funny. Your in-laws might not feel quite that particular way. 

Dealing with the Overbearing In-Law

We've all been stuck seated across from that one relative who seems to think they have an opinion on everything, from how to cook the turkey right down to how to decorate the tree. 

They mean well, but sometimes it just feels like they're running the holiday show. So, how do you take back your sanity in a polite way?

First, thank them for their input-you don't have to actually mean it-then offer a compromise in a tone that is both gracious and firm. You can love your in-laws and still say, "No, thank you," to unsolicited advice.

Holiday Meals: Surviving the Kitchen with Your In-Laws

The kitchen is a war zone-from Grandmother's supersecret recipe for stuffing to a serious dispute over the proper way to carve a turkey, holiday meals can be a source of stress. 

The secret of the game is finding your place in the kitchen-whether that means helping, providing moral support, or staying out of the way with grace.

The Holiday Photo Conundrum: Surviving Bottomless Family Photoshoots

The family holiday photo shoot is a tradition dear to the heart of so many families-just as it is essential in capturing that "perfect" holiday moment. 

To anyone who has ever had to endure them, such sessions might be less picture-perfect’ They may range from wrangling everyone into coordinating outfits to simply surviving the chaos.

Smiling through the mayhem feels a little like an Olympic-level endurance test. If you are gearing up for the in-laws' holiday photo session, here is how you survive with no loss of mind or smile:

• Remember the sweet season behind these photos

• Perfect the half-smile. It’s great for pictures, but you're screaming inside.

• Suggest timing the photos before dinner gets crazy or institute a photo limit.

And remember, the more awkward the family photo is, the more priceless it becomes in 10 years!

How to Handle Competitive Holiday Games: When Monopoly Gets Ugly

The holidays are a time of laughter and bonding, and.cutthroat competition? For most families, game nights go from fun to fierce in a matter of seconds-quicker than it'd take to say the word "Uno!" 

Whether it's Monopoly, charades, or even a harmless-seeming game of Pictionary, something about the holidays just brings out everyone's inner competitor. Let's be real-nothing screams "family bonding" quite as much as a passive-aggressive fight over who gets to be the banker. 

Here are a few tips on how you can best handle the ugly game scandal:

• Know the competitive spirit, and put on your game face. It gets you psychologically prepared to handle them.

• Engage in selected battles: If you know some of those games can get them very argumentative, then perhaps suggest a few less inflammatory choices.

• If the thing tends to heat up, always be cool, keep neutral and don't be on crossfire. Offer words of encouragement to either side or you laugh it off, or you just never take it so seriously.

• Know when to exit peacefully: Sometimes the easiest way to survive a high-stakes game night is to retreat early.

• Bow out of the table with humor: "I'm tapping out before this becomes a Netflix crime documentary." Give them a suggested break - "How about a snack break?

When All Else Fails: How to Make a Graceful Exit

Sometimes, even with the best of efforts, it just becomes all too much. You might need to take a break. Going for that much-needed walk or faking a " I forgot to do some errand" that really requires you to leave could be a way out.

• Funny Tip: There is that great trick called a "fake emergency call." Just don't over do it, you don't want Aunt Linda catching on by year two.

Self-Care During Holiday Madness

Holiday self-care? It's possible, right? Whether it is stealing away for a 10-minute meditation session or simply locking yourself in the bathroom to watch Netflix on your phone, finding moments for yourself is key.

Even if your personal version of self-care is sitting in a closet with your favorite holiday cookie, that counts.

Smiling Your Way Through Awkward Conversations

It only seems fitting that the holiday season ushers in that well-known, awkward question: "When are you two getting married?" "When will we have grandkids?" "How's the job search going?" 

Smile, take a deep breath, and remember so often these questions come from a great place of love-even though it makes you cringe.

• Pro Tip: You can diffuse this by adding humor or saying something like, "We are just focusing on enjoying the holidays right now!"-smile, nod, and quickly change the subject to Aunt Linda's famous green bean casserole.

Making the Most of the Holidays: Building Positive Memories with Your In-Laws

Holiday time is about making new memories with the extended family-not survival. Rather than dwell on all those super awkward or super stressful moments. Find activities to connect-through fun family games or over a shared love of holiday movies.

• Pro Tip: Embrace quirky moments. Maybe your in-laws sing off-key Christmas carols, but it's just those little things that will make this holiday memorable.

After the Holidays: Debriefing with Your Partner

It's time to get down to business and break down everything that went down when the craziness of the holiday is finally over. You should sit down with your partner and go over what did and didn't work, and what you're going to do differently next year. 

Did you have fun? Was the in-law dynamic cool? What will you never do again? 

The Ultimate Survival Checklist for Holiday Sanity

Attached is an at-a-glance checklist to help you keep your cool:

• DO bring a backup dish if your cooking skills are questionable.

• DON'T take anything personally-it's all part of the fun of the holidays!

• DO have an escape route.

• DON'T forget the "pineapple" code word.

• DO remember self-care counts.

• DON'T freak out. You got it.

Conclusion

Surviving the holidays with the in-laws is no small feat. It is never easy to draw your extended family closer to you, but it's an opportunity to teach you a couple of things about patience and survival.

So go ahead, enjoy the mayhem, those matching sweaters, and all the awkward moments. No holiday is perfect, but survive it, and that will be an accomplishment in itself. 

Just remember, if it all fails, well. there's always next year!